The Right Kind of Wrong
by Mia-Zeklos
Summary: Everything Marius knows is what Abraxas taught him. But his lessons about life take an unexpected turn...


**Author's notes: Well, yes. That's what I'm doing when I'm supposed to be updating any multi-chapter fic I have, or write my homework. Writing for characters so minor that they are never really mentioned in the books.**

**Anyway. I know that the pairing seems completely random, but I've always be rather enchanted by it. I don't even know why. And all this magic lessons things was included because Marius was a Squib (which was the main reason why he was disowned).**

**Warning: Err, 'slash' seems like a very strong word to me since it's all just a kiss, but you have been warned in case there's someone around that's not into those things.**

* * *

Marius scowled as he stared at his own reflection in the polished wooden doors of the Malfoy Manor. A slender, pale boy with short dark hair and blue eyes was glaring at him from said reflection and he couldn't help but think: _"And you were wondering why people don't like you. You look like you've risen from the dead."_

"Marius!" he almost jumped when the doors suddenly opened. Mrs Malfoy was smiling gently at him. "What a nice surprise! Come in, Abraxas is home."

Marius followed Abraxas's mother through the hallway, but instead of the drawing room they usually ended up into, this time she had taken him into the ballroom of the Malfoy Manor. She smiled awkwardly. "I'm sorry, but the house is a bit crowded right now. I should have told you; at least you would be warned… But you see, my husband just came home after a few months away and there's a… party here now."

"I understand." Marius assured her and pursed his lips. "It's not a problem, Mrs Malfoy… I can come tomorrow or…"

"No, no, stay!" Abraxas's mother seemed honest. "I bet you'll like it here now… You're here for your lessons, are you not?"

The boy nodded and blushed. Since he was so tragically useless as a wizard, Marius had agreed to something Abraxas had proposed – to give him personal magic lessons. They had started this when Abraxas was fourteen-year-old, and Marius was in his second year at Hogwarts.

Later Abraxas became not only a best friend, but something like an idol for the younger boy also. He was a very patient teacher, and he was the one that taught Marius everything he knew about life. Marius had always admired him, even now, when he was already going to start his sixth-year at school and his friend was eighteen-year-old.

The ballroom was, indeed, crowded. There were dancers in the middle and some unfamiliar music blasting out of nowhere. The place was richly decorated and there were too many guests for him to count. Marius's lips curled into a small smile.

The Malfoys were the ones that taught him all about having fun, too. Unlike his family – the Blacks, who thought that they had to e cold and distanced to others because of their pure blood status and their wealthiness – the Malfoys had learned how to make a good use of the money they owned. As much as Marius knew, they weren't spending everything they had, but every month, there was a party or a ball held in the Malfoy Manor.

"Marius, you're already here!" the boy finally heard a familiar voice and his smile widened as Abraxas approached him.

"Hi, Rax!" Marius greeted. "I hope I haven't interrupted anything important you were doing…"

Abraxas laughed airily and took Marius's hand, dragging him to a free seat. "I wouldn't have invited you if I was busy, now, would I…" he said when he stopped laughing. "Do you want to stay here for a while? We can watch the dance and then go to the practicing room…"

"All right." Marius agreed, mostly because he had no other choice. He actually felt pretty uncomfortable when he was sitting so close to Abraxas…

Rax had been his best friend for years. He had made Marius the person he was now. But when he was still a child, Marius did not realise that there were some things that were out of place – for him, at least – in this whole story.

He wasn't feeling strange about the fact that, at the age of sixteen, he still completely ignored all the girls he knew – in a romantic way, because he actually had some pretty good friends that were girls – and his only relationship with one was a failure, because he didn't pay her any attention. By that time last year – and until now – he liked better spending his time with Abraxas and almost couldn't bear the thought that he would be without him this school year; along with everything else, his older friend was also his protector.

When he was at school, Abraxas was always the most popular boy around, especially when it came to the Slytherins. He was good-looking, smart and nice and people loved him. Nobody could understand why he was hanging around with the nagging, people-hating Marius Black who, on the top of all, had no magic talent for anything.

And so years passed. Marius hadn't even realised when his feelings for Abraxas had slightly changed…

But now, as he was sitting here, next to his friend, he realised pretty well that he was not supposed to experience what he was experiencing. Or at least, not when he was sitting next to a boy. He tried to focus on the dancers.

The show was like no other – and Marius had witnessed many amazing things in this house. The music was enchanting and there was most likely some strange magic in the dance itself, because his mind was suddenly slightly clouded…

"Where are the dancers from?" he asked rather sleepily; the music was doing strange things to his senses and all of a sudden, he felt rather tired.

"Far East, I think. Or India. Somewhere in that direction. "Abraxas said, grinning at him. "Good, aren't they?"

"Yes, they are." Marius replied thoughtfully.

"But how rude of me!" Abraxas exclaimed and Marius sort of woke up and looked around confusedly. The music and the dance seemed to have a similar effect on everybody else; only his friend was so full of energy. Marius looked up at him questioningly. "Your lesson." Rax specified. "I just forgot. You had to remind me…"

"No, there's no need now." Marius assured him hurriedly, shaking his head. He didn't want to force him to leave such an unforgettable event just to teach him magic he would probably never master anyway. "Maybe some other time. Have fun here…"

"Don't be stupid, Marius." Abraxas cut him off cheerfully, waving with his hand as if he was getting rid of an annoying insect. "The party's good. I've seen better. Come, now."

Without further protests, Marius followed him out of the ballroom and into another corridor, slightly different from the one he had came into the hall from.

Marius knew exactly where they were going; there was an empty room that Abraxas called 'the training room' – the younger boy's attempts to use magic were so poor that he was quite often breaking something. That was why using a room that nobody needed was a pretty good idea.

"Come in" Abraxas said, gesturing to the room. When they both entered, he closed the door behind his back. "Would you like some tea first?"

Marius nodded wordlessly and watched Abraxas as he walked around the room, producing some tea and finding teacups for them both. Then he started building a small tower of wood (that would be used for the fireplace if someone was living in this room) for blasting off with a spell or burning them all; in fact Marius highly doubted that any magic would come out of his wand, so it didn't really matter what its propose was.

The concentration on Abraxas's face as he prepared everything was rather captivating. Marius couldn't help but notice once again how handsome he actually was. Abraxas's hair was light blonde and short, slightly curly. His eyes had the colour of liquid silver and his skin was even paler than Marius's.

He shook his head, trying to chase those thoughts away. Abraxas was his _friend, _not some girl he could stare after. Especially since staring after girls was something Marius was told that is not right, too.

"Rax?" he said in a small voice. Abraxas glanced at him questioningly. "You told me that we all must do what we feel is right."

"Yes?" Abraxas said; his voice raising a bit as if he was asking a question. Marius felt that he was panicking, so he tried to distract himself and stared pointedly at the floor. Too bad that there was nothing entertaining in his design and he started speaking again. "Well, when it comes to like people… You know, _like_, like people…" he ignored his inner voice cursing him for how immature he sounded. "Is it all right to like a… boy?"

Abraxas's hands went stiff for an instant, but then he kept pouring tea inside his cup. Marius wished he could see the expression on his face. "Why are you asking me?" he inquired carefully.

"Just like that." Marius replied, already regretting that he had chosen his topic at all. He felt his hands trembling slightly and tried not to panic more than he already was. "I was just curious about your opinion on… such things."

"Well, of course it's all right." Abraxas said and shrugged and made himself comfortable into one of the two chairs near the table. "I mean, why not? You can't choose the people you are feeling attracted to."

The relief that washed through Marius's soul was inexplicable for him – he wasn't talking about himself, after all, was he?

Was he?

"I thought that such conversations are a banned topic in the Black family." Abraxas pointed out conversationally.

"That's why I'm asking you." Marius said with a nervous little laugh. When he took his teacup, he realised that his hands were still shaking. Abraxas's silver eyes followed the movement with a raised eyebrow. "There are no banned topics for you. And Mother and Father said that I should not talk about that."

"If you listen to everybody around on what you should or should not do, Marius, you're getting nowhere." Abraxas told his seriously, taking a sip from his tea and then leaning over the small table – and closer to Marius's face. "But there's something else that's bothering you today." He pointed out. The other boy tried to protest, but Abraxas raised his hand to stop him. "I can tell, Marius, so don't you try lying to me. Why are you asking all of these questions? Abraxas's voice was soft and wondering. Marius was terrified; his heart was racing rapidly and his mouth felt so dry that he couldn't say a thing.

"I-it's nothing!" he almost shouted desperately, not knowing what else to do. He looked all around the room, trying to focus on something, but failing. "I just wanted…"

Abraxas's lips pressed against his and silenced him. Marius jerked away in surprise, but then relaxed, as Abraxas's hands softly caressed his hair and then rested on both sides of his neck. Feeling a bit braver, Marius felt his own hands roaming down Abraxas's chest, his fingers gently following his slightly muscular body. Marius trembled in contentment and smiled softly against his friends's lips. His brow furrowed slightly in confusion – how could something he was told that was wrong feel so very right?

"Feeling better now?" Abraxas asked quietly. Marius nodded gradually after a moment of hesitation. He felt more than just 'better' – more like he had something he hadn't noticed that was missing from him.

Then the realising of what they were actually doing hit him.

"Oh my God!" he exclaimed and his eyes snapped open. He broke the kiss and almost fell back into his chair. Trying to bear the shame that overpowered him, Marius hid his face in his hands.

"What is it?" he heard Abraxas asking; his voice sounded slightly bemused. "Didn't you… Didn't you like it?" he seemed almost offended now. Marius shook his head.

"You did, then?"

"Yes, but…"

"Do you want me to do it again?" he asked, still a bit confused. Marius couldn't understand how exactly Abraxas couldn't see the problem in the whole situation.

"_Yes, _but…"

"But what?"

"But it's wrong!" Marius said helplessly. "Oh God, Rax, I'm so sorry. I didn't want to. I didn't have the right to do that. I mean, I am… You are… That's just…" he didn't seem able to find the right words for it, especially when his whole being was telling him to shut up and be happy for what he just got. "You're my best friend, Rax!" He added, almost desperately. He couldn't believe that he had kissed a boy. _Abraxas_, of all people. How pathetic was that? He was awful, simply awful…

To his great surprise, Abraxas laughed heartily and ran his hand through Marius's hair patronizingly, as if he was three-year-old. The boy wasn't sure if he should feel good or bad about this. Actually, he was utterly confused right now. He looked up and glared at Abraxas, feeling worse than ever. Marius was well-known for making bad decisions, but this was something that was too much even for him. Shame overwhelmed him again and he felt the blush staining his pale cheeks, as he repeated the kiss - which, much to his misfortune - was the most embarrassing, but also the most wonderful thing in his life in the same time.

"Did it feel right to you?" Abraxas asked simply.

_Did it_, Marius asked himself. He didn't want to say it out loud, but it had felt perfectly right to him. Of course, if not anything else, this was the proof that it was completely wrong. It was just unnatural. He had grown up to think that if such a thing feels good to you, then something is definitely completely wrong with you. His father would be disgusted if he knew what his son had done - not only that he was a dreadful wizard, but also being so sick? He would have hated him for it if he knew; Marius knew that.

"Yes." he admitted after almost a minute of considering the question. It was easier to voice it, and he knew that he would never be able to lie to Abraxas. "Yes, it did. But I have never thought that you'd be one to... to fancy boys!" He mumbled at last, feeling worse and worse with every second passing in this conversation. "I mean, I've seen you with so many girls... I would never think..."

"I'm the type of person that can fall in love with anybody if I feel like it." Abraxas explained and shrugged carelessly, as if it wasn't a big deal at all; as if it was nothing but just the next lesson he was giving him. And maybe it was. "And... well, I'm sure you know that I've always loved you, in one way or another. So why not?"

"You make it sound so simple!" Marius exclaimed, then hid his face in his hands again as if Abraxas couldn't see him, he would forget about it all. That was what Marius wanted the most now – if his magic was powerful enough, maybe he would be able to change his friend's memory and everything would be fine again. _Except not. Because you would never change his memory and you know it_. "Oh my, Abraxas, I'm so sorry..."

"Well, it is rather simple." Abraxas said. "And will you please stop saying 'sorry' all the time, Marius? First of all, it was me the one who kissed you and not the other way around. Second, I know what's going on in your mind right now. There's nothing wrong with you and nothing to be ashamed of. So just relax, will you?"

Marius didn't say anything. He still couldn't believe that such a thing was happening at all, but that wasn't what bothered him the most. It was the fact that he had actually_liked_ it. He couldn't help but keep repeating these few moments when Abraxas was kissing him, and it made him feel happy. And, which was the worst, he knew that secretly, he had hoped for it to happen for years, but he hadn't let the thought even get near his mind...

"What are you worried about now?" Abraxas asked gently.

"I think... I feel..." Marius's voice died; he just couldn't say anything more.

"You feel bad because I kissed you and you liked it." Abraxas said curtly. It was a statement, not a question, but Marius let out a small noise of agreement anyway. Abraxas rolled his eyes. "Oh _please_. Have your not learned anything from me, Marius?"

"What... what are you talking about?" Marius asked, confused. It was always rather exhausting for him to keep track on the constant changes of Abraxas's mood.

"If something feels right, that means it's right. I'll go bring us some biscuits." he said, leaving the stunned Marius still sitting on his place with his eyes wide open. Abraxas left the room, laughing quietly and muttering under his breath. "Dear Merlin, Marius, why do you always have to make things so complicated?"


End file.
